Characters

RAMONA: 17-year-old girl with glasses. Her hair is dyed red, but her black roots are showing, it is up into a messy ponytail. She is wearing long, black denim overalls with a faded and slightly oversized grey, Brown University sweatshirt with a few holes in it underneath. Her eyes are covered in smokey black eyeshadow and large eyeliner wings. Has a slight southern accent.

JOYCE: Ramona’s mother, 46 years old. Recently divorced, circles under eyes, the smell of cigarettes reeking off her clothes. Has an exaggerated southern accent. She is wearing a stained white button down tucked into loose jeans and no shoes. Has chipped red nail polish and her toes match.

 

Setting

JOYCE’s kitchen. The walls are covered in a faded sage green wallpaper, and the cabinets are an orange-ish brown with beige laminate countertops. The cabinets line the back of the stage, with the stove being in the middle and the refrigerator on the right end. There is an island in the middle with two barstools on the left side. The sink is on the side of the island closer to the cabinets, so the characters are facing the audience when interacting with it. The floors are a beige linoleum. All the décor is fruit themed and there are fake vines running across the top of the cabinets. There is a trash can on the right side of the kitchen island. There are family photos and greeting cards on the fridge with magnets. JOYCE’s check book, cigarettes, and lighter are on the counter next to a fruit bowl.

 

Scene

[A car can be heard being locked from off stage and a door is opened and shut. RAMONA walks on stage from the right side with a backpack on her back and keys and the mail in her hand. She shuffles through the mail and sees an envelope with her name on it. She sits on a barstool, putting her car keys and backpack on the island. She sets down all the mail that doesn’t have her name on it next to JOYCE’s stuff.]

 

RAMONA: [quietly] Troy University, where mom wants me to go.

[RAMONA opens the envelope as quietly as she can and takes the letter out.]

 

RAMONA: Dear Ms. Ramona Jones, on behalf of the Troy University admissions team, [takes a deep breath] we are pleased to inform you of your acceptance into the Computer Science program at our Troy Campus.

 

[RAMONA takes a minute to look over the envelope again. It’s clear that she’s thinking about something else.]

 

RAMONA: [shoves the letter into her backpack] I’m not going to make any decisions until I hear back from Brown.

 

RAMONA: [yelling and taking off her black sneakers] Mom, I’m home! I got the mail! [drops her shoes on the floor, revealing miss matched socks]

 

JOYCE: [walking on stage, rubbing her eye] Hey, kiddo. How was school? [looks down to see Ramona’s shoes and sighs] How many times do I have to tell you not to wear your shoes in the house? I just got done sweeping the floors. [picks up the mail and sifts through the envelopes] Have you heard anything from any schools?

 

RAMONA: [holds in her breath for a second before releasing it] No, not yet. And sorry, mom. I just sat down to take them off. I’ll try to remember next time. [bends down and grabs shoes before standing up]

 

JOYCE: [rolling eyes, starting to wash the dishes] Well don’t worry about it now, the floor is already dirty. Hopefully you’ll start to hear back soon. [under her breath, walking towards the sink full of dirty dishes] God, I always have to do everything around here. [turns on water and waits for it to get hot] Come help me with these dishes before you go to your dad’s.

 

RAMONA: [annoyed] But mom, I need to get ready to go so I miss the rest of the school traffic.

 

JOYCE: [sets down the plate in her hand turns from the sink with wide eyes] Don’t get an attitude with me, Ramona Michelle. I just asked you to do one damn thing for me.

 

RAMONA: [holds hands out in a confused manner briefly before putting them back down] I don’t even have an attitude? You’re the one that’s in a bad mood.

 

JOYCE: [scowling, puts hand on her hip] Of course I’m in a bad mood when I have no help around this house!

 

RAMONA: What do you mean you have no help? I’m the one that has to [counting on her fingers] scoop the litter box and take the trash out and clean the bathroom and-

 

JOYCE: [interrupting] I go to work all day and by the time I come home I’m exhausted!

 

RAMONA: You act like I don’t go to school all day! And then I come home and not only have to do hours of homework, but also have to play maid for you while you ignore me to spend all night on the phone with your new boyfriend!

 

JOYCE: [scoffs and turns back to the dishes] Of course, that’s what this is really about. I get divorced and I’m finally happy, but you still see me as the bad parent.

 

RAMONA: [softly] I never said you were a bad parent. [takes a few steps closer to Joyce]

 

JOYCE: [washing dishes, shoulders are tense and stiff] You don’t have to, Ramona. You’ve always preferred your dad over me. [goes to put dish on the drying rack]

 

RAMONA: [steps forward and takes the dish from JOYCE and places it on the rack for her, then begins to help washing dishes] That’s not true, Mom. I love you both the same. I’m grateful to have two loving parents who have always made sure I had what I needed.

 

JOYCE: [shoulders slowly loosen and drop, handing dishes to Ramona to put on rack] I love you, kid. It’s just hard when it feels like it’s me vs him all the time.

 

RAMONA: [still doing dishes] I get that, Mom, but it’s not a competition. You’re doing a great job. [goes to put another dish on the rack, but it slips from her fingers and breaks on the floor. she looks down at it and back up at Joyce] Oh my god, I’m so sorry. 

 

JOYCE: [sighs loudly] Jesus, Ramona. Can’t you do one thing without messing something up? [Ramona goes to start cleaning up, but Joyce grabs her wrist and pulls her back] Don’t move, I don’t need you stepping on glass and getting blood on the floor too. I’ll go find the broom. [carefully moves around the glass and exits the stage on the left side]

 

[the lights dim except for one light on RAMONA]

 

RAMONA: [to the audience, barely above a whisper] I can never do anything right. [runs fingers through her hair, speaking a little louder] It seems like no matter what happens, Mom always gets upset with me. Sometimes I feel like she would be happier if she never got married to my dad and had me. [looks down at her feet and shifts weight to one side, continuously getting louder] She can ask me to do things all night long, but the second I ask her for help it’s like I’m the biggest inconvenience on the planet. [shifts weight to the other side, almost yelling] She wonders why I prefer spending time with my dad, but he never makes me feel like this. He’s always supportive of my dreams and what I want. [stands up taller, yelling] Why am I not enough for her? [puts hands on chest] Can’t she see how hard I’m trying? [starts crying] Can’t she see how much I’m hurting? [wipes away her tears]

 

[the lights come back on as Joyce enters the stage with a broom in hand]

 

JOYCE: [annoyed] Alright, I got it. [starts sweeping up glass] You really need to start paying better attention when you do things. [under breath] I swear, your generation is just helpless.

­

RAMONA: [sarcastically] You act like I dropped it on purpose, Mom, it’s just a plate.

 

JOYCE: [scoffs] Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your little friends. I’m not your friend, I’m your mother. [sweeps glass into the dustpan]

 

RAMONA: [under breath] Yeah, we would never be friends.

 

JOYCE: Care to repeat yourself? [discards glass in trash can]

 

RAMONA: It was nothing, I was just apologizing again for dropping the plate. [takes a few careful steps away from the sink]

 

JOYCE: [not convinced] Yeah, sure.­ [sees check book on the counter] Before I forget, let me write you a check for your lunch money. Do you have a pen in your backpack? [steps towards RAMONA’s backpack]

 

RAMONA: [frantically tries to step in between her mother and the backpack] I’ll get it for you.

 

JOYCE: [noticing her urgency] No, I’ll get it, I’m right here. [grabs RAMONA’s backpack and opens it. She takes out the acceptance letter] What’s this? [She reads over the letter] Why didn’t you tell me you got in when I asked earlier?

 

RAMONA: I just wanted to wait until I heard back from more than one school. Gotta keep my options open.

 

JOYCE: But what other options are there? It will be so great for you to be close to home! You could even commute if you really wanted –

 

RAMONA: [really quickly] I don’t want to go to Troy.

 

JOYCE: What?

 

RAMONA: [takes a deep breath] I don’t want to go to Troy. I think I want to go to Brown.

 

JOYCE: [body tenses up] Brown? You want to go up North?

 

RAMONA: [confused, starts nervously rambling and takes a few steps back from JOYCE] Well, yeah. I have a really good chance of getting in because Dad went there, and I’ve been working really hard to maintain above a 4.0 GPA, and they have a great Computer Science program.

 

JOYCE: [bitter, also takes a few steps back] You don’t have to go there just because your father went there.

 

RAMONA: [shrugs] Yeah, I know, but I’ve been dreaming of going there ever since I was younger, and Dad started telling me stories about how great it is up there.

 

JOYCE: [ignoring RAMONA’s comments] So you just want to up and leave me by myself?

 

RAMONA: [a little louder, takes a step closer to her mother] What? No. That’s not why I want to go to Brown. And besides, you wouldn’t even be by yourself. You have Neil.

 

JOYCE: [also raises voice and steps a little closer] Are you trying to punish me because I divorced your father?

 

RAMONA: [borderline yelling] Why are you trying to make this about you? Just because you didn’t go doesn’t mean you should make me miserable.

 

JOYCE: [takes a step forward and stops when she is right in front of RAMONA’s face] Oh, so now I make you miserable?

 

RAMONA: [voice is loud, but not yelling. voice is slightly shaking] Yeah, and you made Dad miserable too. You suck the life out of everyone you’re around until we have no choice but to up and leave-

 

[JOYCE slaps RAMONA, cutting her off. RAMONA slowly puts her hand up to her cheek, her mouth slightly open. The two stare at each other for a minute or so, JOYCE’s hand still slightly raised.]

 

RAMONA: [quietly, in shock] What the actual fuck. [steps a few steps back from JOYCE]

 

JOYCE: [reaches for RAMONA, but she moves out of the way] Ramona, wait. I didn’t mean to do that.

 

RAMONA: [snatches keys off the counter and grabs her backpack, slinging it on one shoulder] No. You don’t get to pretend like you’re a good mom right now [walks towards stage right] I’m spending a few nights at Dad’s house. [long pause] I’m not sure when I’m coming back. [exits stage]

 

JOYCE: [after RAMONA in a snarky tone] That’s right, run away to daddy like you always do. [talking to herself facing the audience] I give up, I can’t do it anymore.

 

[JOYCE leans against counter and rubs her hands against her face. Paces back and forth for a second, like she’s thinking about what to say next.]

 

JOYCE: [head facing up, eyes closed] Dear Heavenly Father, what am I supposed to do with this girl? Sometimes I feel like you’re punishing me with the devil through my daughter. I would’ve never spoken to my mama and daddy the way she has the nerve to speak to me! And don’t get me started on her hiding things. She never tells me anything anymore. It’s so hard to trust her. I do everything for her, even though she acts like I don’t do anything! Please just lead her in the right direction and stop her from being so selfish. Put more love in her heart, [peeks one eye open and emphasizes] especially for her Mama, [closes eye again] and make her more like you. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

 

[JOYCE opens eyes, walks around the kitchen, and tidies up some clutter. after a minute, she pulls a flip phone out of her back pocket and lets it dial. While letting it ring, she walks to the island and picks up her cigarette carton]

 

JOYCE: [on the phone] Hey, Neil. Yeah, she just left. [takes a cigarette out of the carton, puts the carton down, and grabs her lighter] I need a smoke after all the stress she just caused me. [walks off stage right while continuing her phone call]

 

Scene end.